Saturday, April 10, 2010

Things Kids Hate to Hear

My husband and I have been very frustrated with our oldest daughter lately. She has been whiney, disrespectful, and not listening to instructions. Last night I said some things to her that I wish I hadn't. We've all been there, right? So this morning I apologized to her and looked up this list I had read a while back.

Things Kids Hate to Hear

Can't you do anything right?

When will you ever learn?

What is wrong with you?

You are lazy.

You are stupid.

You are so immature.

Who do you think you are?

You'll be the death of me yet.

Haven't I taught you anything?

You're just no good.

You'll never amount to anything.

You got what you deserved.

You need your head examined.

Don't you care about anything?

What makes you think you're so special?

I've had it with you.

All you ever do is cause trouble.

Just wait until you have kids.

Don't you ever listen?

When are you going to start obeying me?

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times...

(taken from "Lists to Live By, Third Collection"
compiled by Alice Gray, Steve Stephens, and John Van Diest)

I will admit I am guilty of saying some of these exact phrases to my kids. Heck, I've even said some of them to my spouse. Of course this is not how I want to interact with those I love.One of my New Year's resolutions was to think three good things about someone when I get angry or upset with them. Until last night, I never really thought about applying that to children. But maybe it's even more important to parenting than to my interactions with adults. Children need predictable, firm, loving parents to guide them, not demean them. Especially with my children, I want to teach by example, build their confidence, instill healthy respect, and correct them calmly and rationally.

 I'm not a perfect parent; it doesn't always happen this way. But every time I screw up I remind myself of how I want to be, and I am thankful that I get another chance to get it right tomorrow.


  1. It's SO hard to step outside the anger & be reasonable. I really wish I could just shut my mouth & think before I speak. Great post!

  2. This a good reminder post Bekah. Little ones deserve the same respect (if not more because they are more vulnerable) as adults. Something I'm sure we all need to work on.

    It's just one day at a time though right? Always striving to do better. :) Thanks again for the reminder.

    ♥ Melissa~
    Pink Paper Peppermints

  3. oh! Who is perfect?? I had to apologize to my daughter this morning as well!! Following from SITS

  4. We've all said something that we wish that we hadn't. All we can do is apologize and try to do better.

  5. Reading that list made my heart ache. I'm sure I will say things I regret, but I hope that I am aware enough to change my behavior.

  6. wow!
    I;m a list person and my husband as actually got me this book for mother's day! I never read it this one!

    ~deep breath here~
    got work on this one
    and love the picture!

  7. There is no such thing as perfect parents, and this is a great reminder to us all. I am guilty of saying, "i have had it!" way more than I should! I guess in a child's mind that would be a scary thing to hear their parent say, when you think about it!
    Thanks for this list, Bekah and reminding us about patience! :)

  8. That list is so sad when they are all together. A great reminder list. There was a phrase once that said when you are angry with your child you should count to 10 before saying anything. My aunt added to it and said, "and if you are still angry count to 10 in German (or a language you don't know)." It still makes me laugh thinking about it.

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

  9. Fun on a Dime Lady you are so right! It's funny and great advice. I try to never say anything while mad. I've had times with my kids (who are young adults now and don't live at home) where I had to wait a whole before I could discuss an issue. . . but I'm so glad I waited. Our relationship is worth it.

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

  10. I left out a word above - how Freudian! I meant to say "I had to wait a whole day".


Thanks for visiting! I appreciate your comments!

Related Posts with Thumbnails