My husband and I have been very frustrated with our oldest daughter lately. She has been whiney, disrespectful, and not listening to instructions. Last night I said some things to her that I wish I hadn't. We've all been there, right? So this morning I apologized to her and looked up this list I had read a while back.
Things Kids Hate to Hear
Can't you do anything right?
When will you ever learn?
What is wrong with you?
You are lazy.
You are stupid.
You are so immature.
Who do you think you are?
You'll be the death of me yet.
Haven't I taught you anything?
You're just no good.
You'll never amount to anything.
You got what you deserved.
You need your head examined.
Don't you care about anything?
What makes you think you're so special?
I've had it with you.
All you ever do is cause trouble.
Just wait until you have kids.
Don't you ever listen?
When are you going to start obeying me?
If I've told you once, I've told you a million times...
(taken from "Lists to Live By, Third Collection"
compiled by Alice Gray, Steve Stephens, and John Van Diest)
I will admit I am guilty of saying some of these exact phrases to my kids. Heck, I've even said some of them to my spouse. Of course this is not how I want to interact with those I love.One of my New Year's resolutions was to think three good things about someone when I get angry or upset with them. Until last night, I never really thought about applying that to children. But maybe it's even more important to parenting than to my interactions with adults. Children need predictable, firm, loving parents to guide them, not demean them. Especially with my children, I want to teach by example, build their confidence, instill healthy respect, and correct them calmly and rationally.
I'm not a perfect parent; it doesn't always happen this way. But every time I screw up I remind myself of how I want to be, and I am thankful that I get another chance to get it right tomorrow.
